Well, here I am! A few hours from leaving for this great adventure. The past few months have been a whirlwind of emotion, and they reached a peak these past two weeks at orientation.
If you ask what we did at orientation, I would say attended various lectures, prayed, napped, ate, and hung out (many late nights of mafia). But this would not be a complete summary of the past two weeks in my life. Instead, you could ask me what I went through, what I felt, or what value I found in this time. I would tell you it was a time when I faced my deepest fears, my innermost feelings that I didn't know existed, learned to find inspiration from others, learned how to find peace in silence, and began to reconnect with a beautiful belief in God and myself.
Every day has been a roller-coaster. I am very scared of the unknown land that awaits me, being away from home, and the failures that I will surely face. Yet, I'm excited to embark on this wonderful journey with the people I have met (and am about to meet) and I'm overjoyed in the hope I have in humanity after meeting such a great group of young volunteers. I have come to embrace the changes that I will face over the next two years. I reached all of these revelations with the help of others, the support I felt coming from my friends and family, and in a 3 day silent retreat.
I am now happy to say I am boarding this airplane with peace of mind, lots of nerves and hopes, and about 50 new friends. I am constantly aware of the love you all are sending my way (it takes my breath away how I can actually feel your love). I am sending the same love and gratitude back your way.
I am leaving Boston College, the site of orientation, at 2:30 AM. We're flying to Houston, Tokyo, Guam (where we will stay for a night), Chuuk (another Micronesian island), and finally Pohnpei. I will finally reach my new home on Wednesday (40 hours of traveling and over 10,000 miles).
I am hoping to update this blog about once a month (I'll have a better idea of that when I get there). In the meantime, please please please send me letters, postcards, e-mails, and prayers!
I love you all, you are my light.
As I was trying to accept my fears, I wrestled with the fact that Jesus always say "Be not afraid." How am I supposed to welcome my feelings, with this blatant message?! This quote clarified things for me: Rather than 'Fear not; the things you are afraid of will not happen,'
"Fear not; the things you are afraid of are quite likely to happen to you, but they are nothing to be afraid of" ~ John Macmurray
