Last time I wrote, I had just sprained my ankle. Since then, I have recovered and can now dance, jump, and run with the rest of them. I have also gotten sick to the point where I have barely been able to speak. I’ve also had 40 (literally, we counted) mosquito bites on my back at one time. (But, really, mom, I’m fine!) Well, I’ve come to really appreciate my health, because absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?
Besides my health, I’ve missed a lot of people, places, and things over the past 6 months. The holidays were especially trying times (how many times can the radio play “I’ll Be Home For Christmas?”).
I’ve had a lot of practice missing people, places, and things over my lifetime. My mom gets frustrated because I seem to become obsessed with everywhere I go, often taking many months, or even years, to stop crying over not being in Italy, South Africa, Nashville, etc.
So, this experience is quite the challenge for someone like me, being away from all of my friends and family (although I’ve found new ones here), all of the places I’ve grown to love, and many of the things I thought I couldn’t live without.
One such thing is a hot shower. Anybody who has lived with me will understand that I LOVE hot showers. Much to my brother’s dismay, I usually take long showers, which I defend by saying this daily routine helps to center me. So, although I live in a tropical climate, I have missed hot showers for the past 6 months.
Well, this past weekend, my community went on a retreat to a nice hotel, complete with hot showers. I looked forward to that shower for weeks, and I was not let down. I will now share with you my journal entry from that experience:
“That was literally the best shower I’ve ever taken. The warmth filled every part of my soul. I got so sad just knowing I had to get out of the shower. It’s so insane, it was just literally the most pleasurable experience ever. I feel so content right now, I put on clean clothes and lotion and I’m going into a warm bed to read Harry Potter.
It reminds me so much of my routine in the states. I used to take hot showers everyday. Then I would get out, get on my laptop, quickly get ready, and eat my breakfast in the car on the way to school.
These days, the shower still wakes me up, but it’s much shorter and often more difficult (we have really weak water pressure). I sit and eat my toast and drink my coffee while reading spiritual books. I choose a positive mindset for the day, remind myself how I will treat people and what they deserve. I put thought into my day to come, rather than rushing into it.
This nice dinner, bed, shower, tissues- they’re normal at home. But I never appreciated them.
But the best part is that I know now I don’t need them, these things that I thought I needed, I don’t at all. Now I know I could live without most things. All I need are people to care about and God. That’s what I really need.
But, a hot shower is really nice every now and then.”
So, I have come to realize that all of these people, places, and things I always thought I couldn’t live without, I really can. I’m not living in South Africa, as I had so certainly planned a couple of years ago, but I’m still thriving. I don’t have hot showers and sometimes not electricity, but it hardly seems to matter. And, most importantly, I’m living without you, friends and family. Many of you guys, and admittedly I, thought we couldn’t survive 2 years without seeing each other. But, it’s 6 months in, and we are making it work. As I said, people to care about are extremely important, but we don’t need to see each other every day to love each other and to help each other to grow. There are people with whom I feel closer now that we’re a world apart than I did when I lived with them.
In short, reflecting back, I miss many people, places, and things. But this “missing” feeling is no longer a seemingly crippling emotion. Because I now realize I can do without most of what I thought I needed. As long as we care about each other, whether we talk or see each other or not, and we hold some form of faith, all is right with the world.
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